NOTE: Aside from the top 10, this list is in no particular order.
Werewolf
The greatest, dumbest movie MST3K has ever riffed, according to me. I love how they strike at every single horrible detail that is bad about this movie! The movie makes absolutely no sense what-so-ever but somehow it got itself on video. Some of the mistakes it makes are so common sense, it's like the director did it all blindfolded! With different types of werewolf transformations, from humans with fangs to full on bear-dog costumes or just a nonsensical accent guy with changing hair color, its ineptitude knows no bounds. It's absolutely fascinating!
Favorite Riff: Oh lovely! Two for one Green Hammers tonight, Martha!
Favorite Skit: Tom turns into a Were-Mike!
Deadly Bees
A nameless British mystery that was extremely easy to figure out. The plot didn't make sense and the characters were stupid and grungy. But the bees are hilarious! Mike and the Bots do great riffs on the old woman and the depressing man. The movie is so mediocre and boring, but for some reason, the riffing on it was so on point that it became a serious laugh riot. An unpopular opinion, but it's still #2!
Favorite Riff: We blame you Hargrove.
Favorite Skit: He Will Stay!
Red Zone Cuba
The worst directed movie by the worst director ever! Their stupidity and aimless droning is perfect material for jokes! Without MST3K this movie would be absolutely impossible to watch, but with their commentary it can be watched over and over again. Coleman Francis definitely outdid himself with this one. Just remember to water your thirsty sick man.
Favorite Riff: That's a weird stain
Favorite Skit: The Lotto!
Master Ninja I
Oh, where to begin? This episode is watchable just for the loud and clumsy fight segments, and how nutty and stupid both Lees' characters are! The old ninja and the hamster owner go places and piss random people off. Oh and twenty minutes of training obviously merits the High School drop out to go kissing all of the girls he comes in contact with but then ends up spaz chopping the bad guy and somehow winning.
Favorite Riff: My Tooth Brush "Which could rip a man's teeth out."
Favorite Skit: The ninja theme song battle
Final Justice
Beefy, Chunky justice in its best! Their non-stop fat jokes surprisingly never got old on this one! I couldn't believe how badly this movie was made, and how well they caught onto every single good riff that hit the nail right on the head! I loved all of the Maltese Male jokes, probably most of all.
Favorite Riff: Watch my back "Watch it jiggle as I move!!"
Favorite Skit: Mike's Falling!
Track of the Moon Beast
This aimless, nameless Paul was a terribly pulled off monster. The best part was probably the Johnny Longbone riffs, as well as the dumb bimbo blonde jokes. But of course we can never forget "California Laaaady!" There's good riffs all over this movie and the skits in between the movie are really just as good.
Favorite Riff: I'm boring and my slide show eats.
Favorite Skit: Lets Batter and deep fry it!
Cave Dwellers
Another horribly thought up super hero of the middle... prehistoric... Anglo Saxon age? The best riffs of course come from the dumb henchmen and gay looking villain. But then there are harder to listen to places, like the speeches of the "Great One."
Favorite Riff: It's speedy delivery guy, and has he got a package!
Favorite Skit: TV review of the movie
Riding with Death
An incoherent hero anyway you put it. This guy apparently does random government work that none of the other agents want to do, and somehow he succeeds where incompetent agents fail. Then there's this woman that happens to be.... places. The riffs are perfect to show the terrible villains and "good guys" of this terribly made "MOVIE."
Favorite Riff: You've got mail-AAHH!!!
Favorite Skit: Tom's a trucker
Jack Frost
The first Russian movie I saw MST3K do, my mother hated it but I loved it to death! The stupid dubbing and the dumb looking costumes just goes perfectly with MST3K! I especially love the scenes with Ivan bear. The witch, Baba Yaga, of course, tops off everything very nicely because of her wondrous dances and... interesting songs. This episode was just laughing at a mile a minute.
Favorite Riff: They're swimming in my chili! The little creeps!
Favorite Skit: Michael Nelson is lord of the dance
Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
Fingal, you are mine!!!! This is a very shocking movie indeed. To see Raul Julia in such a terrible film is beyond anything I could have imagined. I could not hold my laughter during the parts with the fat man jokes, they were too damn good! Oh but no one can forget "My nuts!"
Favorite Riff: To Wendy's!
Favorite Skit: Mike Dopples Tom's Fingal
Puma Man
Could there be a worse excuse for a super hero? No, I doubt there can be. I understand having fun with a super hero, and some super heroes can pull it off. But this guy just got really really lucky and wussed his way out of a lot of the real danger, leaving it up to others to solve his really tough problems. The riffs in this one are seriously ground-breaking, mostly because of how well they went with the stupidity of the premise. Oh and they let Mr. Evil Cue Ball Donald have it, big time, and with much laughter.
Favorite Riff: We must find him, and kill him. "Or send him a cease and desist letter."
Favorite Skit: Kawatamundi Man!
The Sword and the Dragon
A hilarious episode!! The movie actually wasn't that terrible of a movie, but that still does not take away from the greatness in the MST3K performance. The dubs and scripts were terrible enough to give them plenty to riff on and the stupid idiotic villain was perfect material!
Favorite Riff: These pants have awoken something deep inside me!
Favorite Skit: Gypsy's song
Parts: The Clonus Horror
Did you want some stupid clones talking about stupid things and finding beer cans in rivers? Well, the Clonus Horror has your fix! Seriously, this movie is awful from start to finish. The riffing is absolutely solid from start to finish and I couldn't recommend this episode more. The acting is amazingly bad and Peter Graves is going to be president. Next, on Biography!
Favorite Riff: Good evening, Mr. Lump.
Favorite Skit: Agua? Agua...
Beast of Yucca Flats
Coleman Francis strikes! And this time his strike is terrible, perhaps just as terrible as his gasser, Red Zone Cuba. Once again, our boys are given so much material to work with, it's amazing they didn't blow a gasket. Though the children's dialog was quite hard to sit through, the Tor jokes had me completely rolling, as was the cringy "dialog" and HORRIBLE narration. I swear, this movie had problems on a completely different level.
Favorite Riff: Get off my land, you credits!
Favorite Skit: Frank, I'm going to slap you now, and I may never stop
Space Mutiny
Ah, good old Reb Brown and his horrible shrieks of terror. This movie has a special breed of villains and heroes in it, both stupid and completely pathetic at the same time! I could not handle myself on the Santa Claus jokes, as well as the old lady jokes with our... middle-aged heart throb.
Favorite Riff: I've got your mother!
Favorite Skit: Crow and Tom's space battle and Mike's Tea Party!
Final Sacrifice
So, there's this vague cult that comes to revive some stupid ritual. It's up to a drunk and a wormy kid to save the Earth from these hooded thugs. Perhaps one of the worst adventure movies ever made, mostly because the legend was so terribly thought up and executed. My top riffs had to be the ones about the wuss kid and "Rowsdower". But then there's also the cult's leader, the guy whose voice sounds nothing like he looks. Overall, a stellar episode!
Favorite Riff: Oh he exploded before they could shoot him.
Favorite Skit: Tom and Crow start a "cult"
Time Chasers
A movie that makes no sense and does not properly follow any time-continuum. The hero is seriously out of his league, but for some reason he is able to avoid being shot or beaten to death by any of the thugs of Evil Co. JK Robertson has a lot of the great riffs, however Nick and Pink Boy were perhaps my favorite on the show. This one is seriously good!
Favorite Riff: And oil spills are a memory. "A good memory."
Favorite Skit: Crow's encounter with 80's Mike!
Wizards of the Lost Kingdom
You will believe that Kor can't conquer squat! Thom Christopher is back as his old villainous self who can't be smart for one second and can't take down some whiny kid lost in a forest. This movie is cute in how terrible it is and the riffing behind it is top notch. Some of the best riffs come from Kor, but the very best is reserved for every fight scene in the movie. Fantasy idiocy at its finest.
Favorite Riff: Come back here, you fricken idiot!
Favorite Skit: Ray teaches Tom about magic, with a song!
The incredible Melting Man
One horribly pulled off horror/monster movie. It lacks in substance, characters, story, development and acting! Usually when people die on a space ship, it can't get back to Earth, so there shouldn't really have been a melting guy in the first place. I think their riffs on the main character's stupidity was probably the best part, along with the Citrus-loving old people.
Favorite Riff: He's on roller skates!
Favorite Skit: Dr. Forrester Surveying the audience.
Prince of Space
Even without the crappy dubbing, this movie is still pretty damn bad! Along with the dubbing it makes for a perfectly good MST3K! The riffs on the Phantom and the kids had to be the biggest laugh-riots in this episode by far! At the end of the movie, the riffs on the old scientist guys were even better. Though there are places in this movie that suck a little too bad, it's still enjoyable!
Favorite Riff: After that dog!
Favorite Skit: Mike is a Puppet!
Last of the Wild Horses
A movie with more stupid coincidences and stupid characters than you could ever ask for. Everything that happens is contrived and all logic is thrown right out the window. Mike and the bots pick up on this perfectly and the riffing is brilliant! This also marks the episode where Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank sit in the theater and do the first few rounds of riffing. Amazing episode!
Favorite Riff: Quit giving me pee!
Favorite Skits: Evil Mike and Evil Crow
Girl in Gold Boots
We keep asking ourselves why we're following this girl around in the first place, and then the movie trails off into a police department robbery! The music in this movie completely sucks and really gets annoying after a while, but at least the riffs kicked major ass. This one has Critter and Icky Elf that really do great jobs in giving good jokes!
Favorite Riff: Cause I secrete oil?!
Favorite Skit: MADNESS!
Escape 2000
Now when you know to leave the Bronx, you can leave the Bronx. Seriously, what other movie can make overacting Italians seem like they're at least doing an entertaining job (IE, Toblerone). Trash is quite a weirdo hero, and the woman who is not hot at all has a voice that grates against any ear. I loved watching the disinfestation riffs along with the silver-men riffs all throughout.
Favorite Riff: He died as he died, dead.
Favorite Skit: Pearl is rescued by Toblerone.
Hobgoblins
Stupid, idiotic, and downright sadistic in many ways. Hobgoblin was a movie that was purposely bad just so that he would have a new movie out in stores mimicking Gremlins. The monsters were obviously puppets and the humor was dryer than a damn bucket of dust. One of the worst movies they have ever done. Which only adds to the greatness of the episode itself. There are too many targets to count. Every running gag, every character and every scene has some sort of greatness attached to it!
Favorite Riff: He tried to crowd surf but no one wanted to touch him.
Favorite Skit: Cardboard cut outs
Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell
Desperately terrible in many ways. It's good to give your hero flaws (as seen in Pumaman) but Deathstalker takes this concept way too far. He is an arrogant douche that can't get over himself. The villain is no better, but the boys put on an awesome show with great riffs on almost every silly scene (especially the ones that go over the top in stupidity).
Favorite Riff: More snot meat anyone?
Favorite Skit: Making the ring of power.
The Screaming Skull
A movie that wasn't really so bad, it just didn't know how to do horror very well. Still, the riffing in this one had no business being so damn good! Mickey was a prime target for jokes, as was the wife's over reactions to literally everything. The Gumby Short, Robot Rump....us... is the best in show!
Favorite Riff: That squares my breasts!
Favorite Skit: No! Mike! Crow is a skull!
Starcrash
If you were looking for a classy, well made science fiction epic, you are in the wrong place. This is probably one of the more poorly written movies in both plot and dialogue. They call it out in every area that it doesn't make sense and it is a serious laugh riot. While not as good a riff as Space Mutiny, this is one of their better scifi episodes.
Favorite Riff: I'm good at space
Favorite Skit: The ending laser battle
The Giant Spider Invasion
Why was everything in this movie so disgustingly grimy? The Spider, the scientists, and the rednecks. The riffs in this one left me rolling, especially on old Skipper! It tries to amount itself to Jaws, but it fell short by about 1000 miles to the south. The riffs really smite this movie a good one, and really does a good job in explaining the layers of dirt and filth that line its every corner.
Favorite Riff: Then add the ribs.
Favorite Skit: Crow has a lot of caffeine
Mitchell
Our early look at Joe Don Baker, and the stupidity of making him a star of anything. The movie changes plots and jumps from villain to villain to villain until you stop caring about their names, and MST3K covers the confusion beautifully. This one is probably one of my very first with Joel in it (not as good as Cavedwellers though).
Favorite Riff: Stop or my heart will explode!
Favorite Skit: Mike activating the escape pod
The Brain that Wouldn't Die
Mike's debut riffing! Great episode all around! The disembodied head and the terrible "scientists" are good enough for riffing material, but this episode goes all out in every area! So put on some neck juice and get those deformed arms ready for some terrible monster fun!
Favorite Riff: I'm in another dimension hooo!!
Favorite Skit: Mike's story
Zombie Nightmare
Wow, where to begin: The hysterically stupid voodoo woman, or the zombie and the
terrible excuse for youth back in those days. With no acting better than Adam West's, the film is stiflingly painful, but the boys pull it off wonderfully, especially with most of the dumber parts (which is 80% of the film, give or take).
Favorite Riff: Is she part shee-e-e-e-eeep?
Favorite Skit: Bat Tom and Mike Robin.
Santa Claus
Would you like to see Santa's sweat shop, never adhering to child labor laws? How about Santa fighting an effeminate devil? No? Well, then don't watch this experiment. Actually, do watch this one because it is a laugh riot! Santa and that devil are golden material for their relentless riffs! This episode is a treasure trove with a lot to love.
Favorite Riff: If seasonal holiday depression has a soundtrack, this is it
Favorite Skit: Spilling hot coffee on Crow
Manos: The Hands of Fate
What can be said? This has to be their very very top worst movie they have ever done. I didn't mean for it to be so low on my list, I do love it, but for some strange reason it's not the episode I think of when I think "MST3K". I do love Torgo, and the Master was a good source of laughs. This episode just got way too dry way too fast.Still, this one still remains in my heart.
Favorite Riff: Pull! My finger!
Favorite Skit: Joel is the Master
This Island Earth
The movie was a great source of MST3K in my early years of fandom. I do love to keep this one close to me at all times, because it is a very colorful, densely humored "episode". I love it when they make riffs on Joe at the beginning, then the ones they did for the big-headed alien guys. Beyond that, I loved the mu-tant.
Favorite Riff: Cal! Cal! I'm Stuck! AAH---
Favorite Skit: Tom searches his room.
Cry Wilderness
The very worst of all the annoying kids in Mystery Science Theater! This kid would not shut up about his SECRET friendship with Bigfoot and his father was inconsequential in keeping him in line. This movie was the biggest return to form in Season 11 and it really showed them taking on a terribly repugnant movie with style and grace. The quality of the riffs cancel out the quality of the movie beautifully! Great episode.
Favorite Riff: Like I said I'm not high but my dog is and I am!
Favorite Skit: Laughing raccoons
Skydivers
Coleman Francis is a great source of laughs, no matter how much money he throws at a movie. He still loves coffee, and his movie grammar and action sequences lack any sign of life of any kind. There are plenty of great riffs in this one, and there's a lot of great stupid people with stupid things to say. Though it is the best movie Coleman Francis ever did.
Favorite Riff: So how long have you liked coffee?
Favorite Skit: The industrial arts!
The Undead
Wow, Roger Corman has problems, and that's an understatement. There was so much horrible dialog in this one, it was like every single scene they knew exactly how to make themselves look like total idiots. I loved how they riffed on the wimpy-ass guards and knights in all of these scenes. The digger Smolkin is by far the best part of all the riffs! As well as "noweth" which describes a lot of this movie's intelligence. The devil was the biggest cringe factor out of everything, and that's saying something.
Favorite Riff: Smolkin's naked sometimes, Mike.
Favorite Skit: Digger Smolkin's record.
Mac and Me
One of the more infamous movies was the first to be part of a six episode marathon gauntlet. This was a tough one to get through, but the riffing tackled such a problem. The alien's completely terrible effects and the blatant McDonald's and Coca Cola advertising are riffed to the very max. Terrible everything is prominent in this film, acting, effects and dialogue and all of it is fully retaliated!
Favorite Riff: You know what a Royale with Cheese is in America?
Favorite Skit: Evil McDonald's party with evil Gypsy Grimace
Leech Woman
Ah, good old Leech Woman. I have watched this episode many times and on many occasions. I loved the animal footage riffs, as well as the African tribe riffs. This one had me rolling many times throughout it, and it made me want to chug a whole lot of whiskey! This was the episode where I got use to Bill Corbett as Crow. This was also the first episode I saw the nanites in!
Favorite Riff: The bar? Are we there yet?
Favorite Skit: Prairie Dog vacuum.
Danger! Death Ray
Bart Fargo Bart Fargo Bart Fargo! When you thought that this was just another James Bond ripoff, it shows you that the laser was made for PEACEFUL purposes and lays your worries to rest. This is about a generic a spy flick as there is, but Mike and the bots give it that good spice of riffs that makes it all worth a watch. Do not miss the destruction of many cameras!
Favorite Riff: Danger! Eye bags
Favorite Skit: Tom's laser for peaceful purposes!
Invasion of the Neptune Men
Yet another look at our friends in Japan. Only this time it is under the pitiful control of the most annoying and useless aliens. Space Chief is probably the best source of riffs, and so is the Hitler Building! The fight scenes are laughable by themselves, and the children are perhaps the best source in the entire show! This movie should have never seen the light of day.
Favorite Riff: Go Panthers!
Favorite Skit: The return of Krankor!
Terror from the year 5000
What do you do to pad out an entire movie with no intrigue and no interesting characters? Well, not much, that is for sure. Still, the characters were just dumb enough to be perfect riff material. Their predicament was even better for the gags, so we should all be happy about this!
Favorite Riff: The riveting and action packed accommodations scene!
Favorite Skit: Crow goes back in time with Mike's family
Gunslinger
Roger Corman, what else needs to be said? The riffs in this were awesome! The buildings in this western were poorly planned out and it was hysterical when we get to see how stupid the characters really are. Roger Corman is such an easy target for MST3K, and it's hard to tell why he has had such a long career.
Favorite Riff: Cue the Horses
Favorite Skit: The coffins
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
When your movie is too stupid to live but is also the perfect storm of cringe, you get this strange concoction of a film. Droppo and Santa and Droppo as Santa had to be fuel for the best riffs! The Martians were cheesy and no one had any acting ability. That's an old Christmas movie for you, afterall.
Favorite Riff: What's in the pipe, Santa?
Favorite Skit: Patrick Swayze Christmas Song
The Wild Wild World of Batwoman
It is awesome to know that there are such things as these pieces of crap. It gives people hope of having a fine career of some kind. The riffing in this is great, I love how the stupidity was captured just perfectly. The character Rat Fink had to be one of the dumbest characters ever, but their riffing on him was sublime. The stupidity of this movie has to be on a calibre of a mortar cannon if Jaws were a glock.
Favorite Riff: It's like we're smart but we're not
Favorite Skit: Frank's nuclear hair styler
Warrior of the Lost World
A movie that makes less sense is hard to find. Why in the hell was this whiny little idiot the "chosen one". This guy is insufferable and a terrible lead for the resistance, let alone this awful movie. Once again we have our bald little villain. All of the plot twists in this were the work of pure idiocy, and there were no characters that caught any interest what so ever.
Favorite Riff: We're bad mothers
Favorite Skit: Crow picks up the Warrior of the Lost World
Wizards of the Lost Kingdom 2
Yet another sequel that has nothing to do with the first one other than the same title and same genre. The movie is pretty terrible, but David Carradine is not only the best part but also produces the best riffs. Tyor and the old wizard also come up with fantastic riff fuel, so there's a lot to enjoy in this experiment.
Favorite Riff: It's a Sub Zero Family Reunion!
Favorite Skit: Movie recommendations
Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonder
I am all about this episode. I love this episode to the fullest extent! It's low on this list but pay no attention to that! The riffs are absolute classic, and deserve to be higher on my list, but I don't feel like changing it. The killer monkey was a great source of jokes, as well as Merlin's stupid shop of Mystical Crap.
Favorite Riff: Remember to believe in magic, or I'll kill you
Favorite Skit: Tom in the phone booth and Crow on a fish.
The Magical Voyage of Sinbad
Such a great piece of Russo-Finnish crap! Some of the greatest riffs came from Tripod and that stupid emperor guy from Arabia. Some parts of this were just wacky beyond belief, such as him going down to the water kingdom and somehow not drowning, or when they get the weirdo bird. However, the greatest part of all was the try-outs for joining his crew. A very solid episode.
Favorite Riff: Where he had a magic BM
Favorite Skit: The meeting of the beards
The Day the Earth Froze
A very recent addition to my collection as I just recently watched it. I loved how they got the word Sampo from this one, and I loved the riffs they did with all of the trolls. Though I hate to admit it, this movie was actually pretty cool. I liked how the blacksmith could even make a giant red horse from fire, and how even attempted to make a second sun without burning himself into cinders. The witch also grabbed a lot of laughs from me. This episode completely rocks!
Favorite Riff: Quack quack quack quack
Favorite Skit: What is a Sampo?
Radar Secret Service
Boring! Dear lord this movie is so boring it makes black and white look more exciting by comparison. However, not only is this stupid radar based police force a great source of riffs, but so is the short preceding it! There are a lot of genuine laughs here, even when you don't really know what's going on or why things are happening.
Favorite Riff: That cop didn't say we couldn't do intensely stupid things!
Favorite Skit: Why don't they look?
Outlaw
Oh, how stupid of a movie could you possibly make without looking just outright silly? Well this movie just drives to the limit, and GUNS IT! The director obviously just wanted every single character to have no form of real human intellect, nor do they have anything interesting to talk about. Then there is the barrage of ASSES that they SPLASH across the screen many many times with men wearing the shortest skirts. But that's just the tip of the iceberg, as I have not yet mentioned Cabet's "friend" from Earth, he was the absolute MEANING of cringe and annoyance. I could go on and on, but I'll just leave it at this. I almost passed out laughing.
Favorite Riff: Okily Dokily Do!
Favorite Skit: Breastical Boobical!
Squirm
Ah yes, worms and more worms. The main hero is an antique-hunting dork and the rest of the characters are hicks and dumbass rednecks. The very best riffs come from the mother and that weirdo worm salesman's son. Though it is not as bad of a movie as they usually do, the riffs are still just as entertaining.
Favorite Riff: Arr, I am a pirate
Favorite Skit: Crow in high heels
Pod People
Oh, wow. This movie was so damn stupid that it actually made this episode more enjoyable. Pod People is just up and down cooky and the riffs are absolutely dead-on. These kids and people are damn stupid, and their stupidity is just begging to be riffed! Then there's the snorkle creature... things. Anyway, this is definitely one for the books.
Favorite Riff: You can do stupid things!
Favorite Skit: Tom is a snorkle thing!
The Magic Sword
Ah, Bert I. Gordon, not a bad special effects guy, but he's a horrible director all around. Though I will admit this is a better movie than that horrid giant kids movie . But this movie was stupid enough to keep me intent on the riffs. These weirdo characters are absolute gems to get poked at. Not to mention the horrid accents that the knights have, can't anyone actually get someone who sounds like their nationality? No... I suppose not.
Favorite Riff: You're going to Disney Land!
Favorite Skit: Basil Rathbones
Bride of the Monster
This should have gone way up on my list. Ed Wood, yeah, take him in. Tor is probably the best one to get poked at constantly. The acting in this one is just perfect for the Satellite of Love! There is not a good bit of dialog in the movie, most all of it is just downright WRONG!!! But oh well, it all boils down to "He tampered in God's Domain."
Favorite Riff: It's a sinister day in the laboratory
Favorite Skit: We really tampered in God's domain!
Future War
Indeed, this was not the future, and it is not a war. I mean stupid take after horrible scene, after enormous gaping plotholes GALORE! I mean seriously, they had to cover places in boxes? Couldn't they at least put up some wallpaper or something? The fight scenes were absolutely riffed to the max with the most hysterical lines and dead-on accuracy! I mean this episode is hard to fathom for more reasons than one.
Favorite Riff: Packers!
Favorite Skit: Tom's kick boxing.
I Accuse My Parents
There is no contest. The young man in this movie is by far the character who fuels everything that is a riff in this episode. The girlfriend's songs and the mobster guys are great and all, but this guy accusing his parents takes the entire cake. Do not miss out on this episode. If you do, you are depriving yourself of a legendary title in the MST3K collection.
Favorite Riff: Thank God I'm white!
Favorite Skit: You're supposed to give us a hamburger and fries!
Samson vs the Vampire Women
El Santo is horribly dubbed and constantly slamming vampire wrestlers. This one is great! The villains are so incompetent that it is almost like any one with a brain could kill a vampire in a fight. The fighting of course has to be the peak of every single riff moment in this film! That and the vampire women along with their henchmen gotta be the comedy gold!
Favorite Riff: Be sure to stop by tomorrow, and then leave immediately!
Favorite Skit: Our Chinese Food!
Attack of the Killer Shrew
When you don't want your movie to go anywhere or do anything for the majority of its runtime, this is the movie for you! These little dog creatures and copious amounts of booze supply all of your riffing needs! This is an underappreciated episode and while it's not for everyone, it is definitely worth giving a try.
Favorite Riff: Heeee was Mr. Eeedddd
Favorite Skit: The do nothing, go nowhere board game
Earth vs The Spider
Good old campy giant monster movies, I did love these. Though it's not a great big film, it is worth watching a few times on occasion. You had to love how stupid some of these people were, and how girlfriends can get near death experiences on a daily basis! Earthlings came off as weaklings that don't have a militia of any kind that could take down a giant tarantula. They did alright, considering.
Favorite Riff: Whoa! Someone must have puked big time! I'll get extra saw dust.
Favorite Skit: We are Spidor!
Devil Doll
The movie is grimy, disturbing and boring and the villain is a pig! However, they let this movie have it on all fronts, especially the dummy. Hugo is the highlight of this entire experiment and the riffs will have you laughing. The more repugnant parts of the movie need to be overlooked, though.
Favorite Riff: How many maggots am I gagging?
Favorite Skit: You're an ugly dummy, Miko
Giant Gila Monster
Again, not the best listed episode, but it had a good charm to most of it. It was fun seeing a Gila break toys and watching drunk guys being... well... stupid. The songs that kid came up with had to be the lamest crap but it was alright seeing the characters hum and sing it at random times through the series, so there's a notable part of MST history. Then there's the fan picture that named Crow "Art".
Favorite Riff: Who put Sodie Pop in my Sodie Pop?
Favorite Skit: Leg up blocking video.
Soultaker
This badguy was lame, I mean really lame, as only Joe can deliver. Then there was the dumb girl who obviously had her way with the script and put the camera on her complexion. Then there was the airhead boy who had no common sense what-so-ever. There were a lot of riffable moments here in this stinker, and what can I say about the drug addict idiot?
Favorite Riff: This door is ragging on me like my idiot dead friend!
Favorite Skit: Return of Frank!
Angel's Revenge
Greydon Clark really out did himself with this stinker. This movie makes Final Justice look like a harrowing cop drama of high quality. Every man in this movie is either hungering after women or are so stupid it hurts. The dialogue is laughable and Jack Palance is literally the only high note this movie ever makes. The jokes are absolutely side splitting, though and if you can look past the movie's awful nature, you can have a lot of fun with this one.
Favorite Riff: It's girls! We're ruined! Our empire is crumbling!
Favorite Skit: The Fonz cannon
Fire Maidens of Outer Space
Wow, the director really knew how to bore your skull straight off! The spacemen, well hell, all of the men in this movie were seriously dumb sexist pigs who couldn't act to save their lives. Who hired these people? It's like this movie was made for riffing, but it just got so BORING through it all. I can't say I enjoyed it immensely but some of the riffs are so damn funny it's worth watching it just for them.
Favorite Riff: I just sat there for hours and Cy Roth kept the camera rolling
Favorite Skit: The controls that do everything
Monster A-Go-Go
By far one of the worst movies they have ever covered in their careers in Mystery Science Theater. This is one of the most ineptly made pieces of cinema ever made and that's not even considering how it ended. If their riffing on this episode wasn't so amazingly well done, it would be considered one of the worst episodes ever as a result, but they somehow pulled it off. Watch this at your own risk.
Favorite Riff: Douglas was pear shaped, very short and stood the whole way
Favorite Skit: Johnny Long Torso!
The Thing that couldn't die
The best riffs in this episode definitely came from Aunt Flava Flave and everything being evil! Then there was the big huge dumb guy, it all added up rather quickly. The movie wasn't especially bad, but the "medieval scene" had to be quite humorous.
Favorite Riff: That's too bad, this tree was our state forest.
Favorite Skit: Observing Mike Nelson
Atlantic Rim
Asylum movies are known for their poor quality and the MSTies picked one that was no exception. While the movie isn't their normal fare, it certainly deserves a great deal of the riffing it receives. It's not their best episode but it certainly shows their versatility as comedians in the newer seasons of the show. The main character of the movie and bull butter are definitely some of the highlights of this experiment and it's a miracle they made it all the way through the gauntlet!
Favorite Riff: Harpoons? Are these whaling robots?
Favorite Skit: No way! We're dating the same chick!
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